STOP
Top hat on backpack secure I began the 4.3 mile hike to work. Off the bat I knew I was going the right way. A disc golf course being put up in El Grand. I quickly snap a photo of the request for suggestions to Mark and continued on. As usual the most friendly people are the ones hard at work. A hispanic painter smiles and waves to me.
Crossing the highway I descend to the harbor. It is serenely beautiful. Rocks ocean beachgoers dogs. I smell salt and seal. The coastal trail wraps me along the jetty wall. Camp is in session. I see D playing on the Roberts board. Past the camp I worked there is another. It is primarily children of color. I smile as they run to the water with boogie boards.
On to the beach shortly I pick my way up stone steps past Mar Beach Restaurant. I make my way down stone rocks that protect the road. A couple of steps in the sand I kick off my shoes, who needs those. Then I see it, the Red Mar Bridge, or better yet I don't see it. It has been taken down. Much like my bridge to the old self only the memory of what was exists. In awe, I walk, eyes fixed on the air. The water rushes up to my toes surprising me back to the present. Cold tingles on my feet. Ooooh I squeal! That is nice. Walking along the packed wet sand I can see Kel Beach curving the southern portion of Crescent Moon Bay. I am well on my way. I turn to leave the beach towards the coastal trail.
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Boom.
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The smell hits me before I see it. Dead sea lion. Curious, I crouch by where its head used to be. Maggots cascade over each other writhing to get deeper into the internal organs. Each one reminds me of the Universe. I spot a lone tooth rising from the jawbone. Back and forth I wiggle it eager for the prize. To my surprise the jaw will not give up its crown jewel. I peel the jawbone out of the flesh. I wash maggots from it with sand. Using a rock I crack through the layers of enamel encasing the canine. The bone goes back to the sand. Tooth in pack, prayers sent, I mount my shoes and continue southwest. Urgency is felt I have a meeting to make!
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A biker zooms by, whoa its Zoe, she says hello then recognizes me and shouts "Hey Marcus!!"
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"Hi Zoe" I say. Her little brother throws a shaka with a look of disdain. Judgement hey that's my brain nothing personal though I don't even know his name.
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Birds sing legs swing slowing as I cross the bridge edge. At the substation 4 ravens sit in a dumpster. 1 of them spitz. I watch. They chatter dance hopping in a communicative manner. Onward 2 Kel Beach to wash my fingers rest my feet. Zoe and her brother pass. Once again he looks back. Oh well.
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At the bathroom I do spy a work truck running and raven nearby. Stalk still the raven and I stand eye 2 eye. All of a sudden from the bathroom beyond a state worker comes along. Admiring the showdown he laughs and says "One hell of a bird that you can bet." I know him. It is Renee. Shy at first I stand 4 paces away. Conversation works on.
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He speaks of the distance people cover to make it to the coast. All hot and packed together. In a rush. They might shoot someone. This makes me sore. I almost move along but my shoulder it buzzes to stay. Closer I work so that he is heard. Renee can speak eloquently a word.
He says of the world
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"Scary 2 think we cannot agree on what's really real. Even what's been."
"A living hell it can be." Wait that was me
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Of the artist he says
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"Psychotics drown. Artists swim. It is the same water. Who really wins?"
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Of psychotics he says
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"They are in the hospitals to protect them from us."
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Of sustainability he says
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"Recycle old highway signs they are worth a goldmine."
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We shake hands. I am glad to have stayed.
I wash up, on to the district with a full cup. Freshly cleaned the office gleams. I down water. Prepare the mind. Ease the stomach with an apple, pita chip, walnut snack. Rain calls on the cellular. They are here. The meeting is clear. Through the fence I come to meet the boys in fun. Rick is cool. Jason looks to bull. We talk and walk. Rain nearly tells me off. Catches himself and works on his way. I settle details. Till the end I stay. Well wishes sent safe travels gentlemen. I return to the office and decompress on snapchat. I sent my emails.
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Next to the bike store. Dave clips me off. The mountain bikes a lock. Thx Dad I like it a lot. Dave asks for the $. I say it's covered. He trusts me it's no trouble.
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Down to InkMagic. I order Billy Fingers. Nervous the bike will disappear I glance behind me 3 times.
Back on the seat I ride by the creek doing jumps off the curb. Down the highway by chained up horses. They look sad in need of nourishment. Through the trees reflecting on Miriam and me. The tree is snapped it won't grow back but from that space something will take its place.
Back at the jetty what do I see but a raven hopping over to a heron to speak. The heron says let me be. I am hunting. It stalks and stalks. The raven lets it be. I eat a fig and peddle away.
At the ramp I see Willie and ride over the highway to say hi. He invites me to take a lap. I enjoy the ride. A fist bump and a surprise. A pump track at the Mine. Check it out he suggests. I thank him doing my best to make it to the Press. And then no! I have the time. Go to the track. Go for a ride.
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There I dance on the dirt among little kids. One gets hurt. One minute later he is fine. I have so much fun and then I leave it behind. A helmet would be nice. Up a steep hill on the other side Tom in his red ride. We talk. I love that guy but I gotta pee. Hold on he says you gotta see 8ft Maui what a treat. He races to the dentist. I make 4 the Press. Wait its past 3 they are closed I guess.
The road home I see Wi. Thinking I am late to my meeting we hardly speak. The end of my day I wished to be home. what would come of the conversation? Who the hell knows.
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I snack nuts to settle then heat some tea. I am preparing myself for tantra meditation on screen. It begins. A bit cheesy but picks up some steam. For nearly 2 hours I meditate and gleam. It is lovely to say the most important part is that of our brain. Each thought, like it or not, is from Shiva, God. They have something to teach. Sometimes it is hard to see. I write tantra meditation imagining a garden built for playing. There Shiva as ShooShoo showers me with her pussy washing me clean. Bliss.
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I walk to the garden aroused and alive. Birds sing in the sky. Strawberries in my mouth. So sweet. Dirt in my toes. I feel Earth's heat. Veggies picked I walk back. Thinking of swinging but scared by the kids. Another day I say. And thank Shiva I have it. That thought dare not become a habit. Who the hell knows how many seconds till we go.
Each interaction, under every rock, is the secret of the Universe, like it or not. We cannot hide. Look, right there, Shiva is inside. I think of my beloved obsess and obsess. It is a blessing. Living in Love that has flesh. Paint your picture. Please make a mess. That seems to be the point. Ignore no signs. There are no mistakes. Give it your best. See what it creates.
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Each time we act on fear it closes doors to our experience.
It is your responsibility to experience all you can in this short life.
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